I moved recently because of you nice
folks I could I could buy a nice house
and I'm very thankful for that
um and yeah
thank you
I bought a house in a neighborhood
though that I think is too nice you know
like it kind of reminds me of a store
there's two you ever walk into a store
and like right away you're like I should
leave like when you get there
I feel like there's some whenever they
offer you something to drink in a store
that's a sign you know some stores you
walk into and they're like would you
like still or sparkling water and you're
like I left something in the car I'll be
right back but
well I mean all my neighbors they're
like investment bankers and partners in
legal firms and then I'm there like
Dewey to ask or what do you do man you
know
and they're like thanks for buying a
house it's great to have you
here's what's Wild a current or former
United States Senator I shall not say
whom lives in my neighborhood everybody
talks about them I know which house is
his I'd never met him now I'm home from
tour and I decide to start my day with a
morning walk a casual walk you know I
have some coffee let's get the day
started I go for a walk I walk past his
house he comes outside I don't say
anything right but he yells out he goes
hey are you the comedian
I go yeah
he goes where do you think the term
motherfucker comes from
hello it's nice to meet you
I go I don't know
he goes you think it's from people doing
that
I'm like fucking their moms
and he goes yeah
I go I don't know
he goes how many people do you think do
that
I go more than you want it to be
and he's like meow
then and I am not making this up I could
not make this up he says to me how about
daughter fuckers
I go first of all that's not an
expression that anybody uses
right no one's like check out this crazy
daughter fuckers over here
I go if you have Kings we can talk about
them but not like this I don't like this
at all
he goes yeah
and he just turns around and walks into
his house I'm like what the fuck
was that? So I keep walking just contemplating
every mistake I have ever made
that led me to that conversation
and now I'm walking home so I walk past
his house again he comes back outside
he goes hey I didn't want to end like
that that was weird
it was
he goes I thought about it and a
motherfucker is not somebody who fucks
their own mom I go oh do tell
he goes a motherfucker is someone who
fucks your mom
he goes That's the most disrespectful
thing anyone can do so if somebody is
particularly rude you call them a mother
fucker and I go wow
I am so impressed that you put that
together so quickly I can see why you
may or may not be Ted Cruz and then I
walk away
thank you
oops
Tom Segura's Famous Neighbor | Bonus Jokes Removed from Netflix
Категория: Видео
Сложность: Средняя
Дата: 08.07.2023
Субтитры: есть
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